The Pursuit Of Happiness
by HallowShark1
Summary: Romano is haunted by his past and present. He fears to let anyone in, because of what has happened to ho him. Feliciano is worried, but, what can he do as his brother? But, will a certain someone help Romano break out of his shell? GilRom, Mpreg, rape.
1. The Problem with Antonio

This is Romano's side of the story in 'What We Reach For" but, I called his "The Pursuit of Happiness". I want to keep the other story focused on Feliciano and Ludwig, with this one focusing on Romano, Gilbert, and Antonio.

Summery: Romano is haunted by his past and present. He fears to let anyone in, because of what has happened to ho him. Feliciano is worried, but, what can he do as his brother? But, will a certain someone help Romano break out of his shell?

Warnings: Rape, Mpreg, Sex

Pairings: GilbertxRomano , (one-sided) AntonioxRomano, LudwigxFeliciano

Sibling Story: What We Reach For

* * *

"_Romano? Are you awake? " _

"_Yes, stupid Spain!" I said rolling over. _

I remember…This has happened before… When I was eight years old…

"_Oh, stop being so cruel!" said Antonio. _

_Suddenly the bed shifted. I knew what this meant, I know what the Spaniard wants. I squirms as the man pinned me down. I was nothing but a boy, I couldn't fend him off, like I wish I could. I felt Antonio lift up my night gown, until it was up to my collarbone. _

"_Mmm…Romano, so cute!" said Spain, kissing my chest. _

_I shuddered. _

"_A-Antonio…stop it…"I whimpered. _

_Antonio rubbed my sensitive nipple between his thumb and his pointer finger. I turned my head away, blushing. _

'_He is so cute! His skin is so beautiful , his tiny pink nipples seemed to pop on the pale chest.' _

_He groped my crotch, provoking a squeak from me. My underpants felt tight. _

"_A-Ah! Antonio, please stop!" I yelled. _

_But, he continued to stroke me while I squirm under his grip. I wished this would stop. He then proceeded to take my underwear off, my tiny dick springing from its confides. He gently licked it, making me groan in my responds. It was sudden when his fingers invaded my mouth, while his tongue continued to stroke my aching little member. _

"_Suck on them, Romano." _

_I did as he asked, scared he would hit me or tell on me, like I saw in the movies. I licked and suck at his fingers as he sucked me off, I shuddered, which meant I was close. I felt my cock twitch, and I whimpered. I gasped as I spilled my content into his mouth, and he moaned softly, smiling. His mouth then released me, and his kissed my stomach. _

"_Oh, Romano! So beautiful! " he cooed. _

_I Looked up at him, eyes-half lidded, panting. This felt so wrong…why wouldn't he stop. _

_Suddenly, his fingers left my mouth. I stared at him, then, I suddenly felt his finger enter me. I gasped. He's never done this before…What was he doing. I felt the finger curl inside me, which made me tense up, then suddenly, there was another finger. It hurt. He stretched my tiny pink hole, until it turned bright red, and he added another finger. _

_I squirm, very uncomfortable, as his fingers moved in and out of me. I gasp, I pant, I moan, and I whimper. So many noise that made his own erection twitch in delight. Finally, the fingers slipped out of me, I groan a bit as he holds my legs open, spreading my ass cheeks apart. He pulls down his boxers he was wearing, and there was his length. I stared at him, and I began to shake. _

"_A-Antonio…What a-are you doing?" I ask, my voice itself seemed to shake. _

"_Oh, Romano, I just can't help myself anymore!" he told me. _

_It as then I felt the head enter me. I gasp in pain. _

"_A-Antonio! Stop it! Please! It hurts! It hurts!" I scream. _

"_Shhh…Romano… Everything will be alright…" he told me, ignoring my plies. _

_I continued to cry for him to stop, those cries quickly turned to cries for help. He was crazy. Why would he be hurting my like this? He said he would never hurt me. He lied to me. As he began to thrust into me, my cries grow louder, and the louder they got, the faster and harder his hips moved. _

"_Ahhhhhh! Antonio! Stop it! Please! Someone help me! Anyone, help me! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" _

_I cried, and cried. I had tears of pain and torment in my eyes, his tears were from sweat landing in his eyes. _

"_Mmmm, Romano! T-Te amo! So Good! So Tight! Ggggaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!" he screamed out in pleasure. _

_Finally, I felt the sting of my insides when he came inside me. The sticky substance overflowed me, come dripping down onto the sheets. I didn't even notice the hot cum on my thigh, I was so much in pain that I hadn't notice that I came. He pulled out of me, laying down next to me, spend. I was shaking, so hard, I felt like I was about to have a seizer. I felt myself begin to sob, as he drifted off to sleep. _

Tonight was no different from that night. He had came over, begging for me to spend time with him. I made the mistaking of humoring him. We spend the day together, and at around 10:30, I ask him to leave. He says he has to use the bathroom, then he would leave. So, I go prepare myself for bed. I know Feliciano usually calls every night, but, even if I do fall asleep, usually the phone wakes me up.

I walk into my room, and sitting down on the bed, I pulled my shirt off, along with my pants, and decided to curl up in bed. I pull the covers over me, and close my eyes. I begin to drift off to sleep, slowly. When I am almost unconscious, I hear the door creek open. I decide its just the wind, and keep trying to sleep. I could swear I heard foot steps, but then again, might have been dreaming. The bed shifted, my eyes shot open.

"Mmm…Romano…"

"A-Antonio…W-What…" I was cut off by a forceful kiss.

He tries to shove his tongue into my mouth, I shamefully let him, because I am scared of him. He pulls away, licking and nipping at my chest, leaving little red marks across the pale canvas I call my chest.

"Romano, I want to be inside you…" he muttered in-between kissing and biting.

I gasp when he bites down on my nipple.

"A-Antonio…s-stop… Think about what yo-AHH!" I felt cold hands slip into my boxers.

He grabbed my member, giving I squeeze. He begins to stroke me.

"Ohhh! Romano, you have gotten so big!"

I whimper at his dirty words.

"Antonio, please, please… Do not do this to me again…Please…" I begin to sob.

"Shhh…Romano…"

I then felt myself shaking, my breathe felt heavier, and I panicked. I began to kick and scream, but, he holds me down. He strips me of my boxers, and spreads me legs apart. I heard his pants unzip, which made my struggling greater. He pulled out his cock, and it made me shudder. It was bigger than I remember. He grabs my thighs, positioning himself.

"A-Antonio…Please don't… " I turn my head away.

He shoves the whole thing into me. No preparation, no warning. I scream out in pain, actually, I do it twice, because, his thrust began immediately.

"Mmmm…God! Romano! "

I hear the phone ringing, Feliciano's voice on the message machine. Its seems so distance, so I assume I'm hallucinating.

"AHHHHHHH!!! A-Antonio! Stop it! Please! Please! Ahhhh! Help me! Help me! DEAR GOD!!! SOMEONE HELP!!! "

I cry out, again and again and again. But, like last time, his thrust just quicken. I felt myself become hard this time, and I begin to stoke myself to take my mind off the pain. I feel myself bleed, and see the blood on the sheets, and close my eyes tight. I come all over my thighs. I heard him moan loud, I guess he felt me clench around him.

"Gah! Romano!" he moaned.

I felt the wet substance fill me, and I shudder violently. He pulls out of me, and this time, he leave me there. He kisses me on the forehead, muttering I love you in my ear, then leave me. He leaves me crying, and begging to die.


	2. The Past Returns

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have alot of things to do, plus, I'm pretty lazy ^ ^;

My eyes flutter open. Was that the phone ringing next to the bed? I shifted, but winced at a pain that shot through my body . I bit my lip, and reached for the phone, my hands and body trembling. I pick up the phone.

"H-Hello?" why was my voice so broken?

"R-Romano? W-Where have you been?"

Feliciano… So I wasn't hallucinating. Well, now I had to think of a lie to tell him. I didn't want him to know, I was so scared…I could never admit what happened…I didn't want Antonio to go to jail, I didn't want embarrassment…I don't want my brother to worry about me. I don't want my pride to die.

"I-I feel asleep early…and…I had a nightmare…" he would believe that, knowing him.

"Oh, Well, would you like us to come over?"

I panicked, dear God, I panicked. I didn't want Feliciano to walk in and see me like this. Fear over came me more than the pain.

"N-no!" crap…now he'll probably _insist _on coming over.

"I-I mean…no…I-I'm fine" please don't ask to come over tomar-

"Well… Um…maybe…you can come over tomorrow…or- "

"No…Feliciano…please don't….Just…Go to sleep. Please…" I don't want you to come over.

I don not want you to worry about me. I don't want you to feel sorry for me.

"Romano ar-" Yes I'm fucking sure!

"Go to bed…"

Silence. A long and painful silence. It was broken by his voice.

"Good night, Romano."

"Good night, Feli."

I hung up before he did, and laid there, staring at my ceiling. Wavering in and out of sanity and pain. I wondered why Antonio would do something like this to me. Why would he leave me here like this? I was in to much pain to sleep, so, I just stared at the ceiling. Stared until the night sky slowly became light. I laid there all day, my stomach began to growl at some point. I didn't know what time it was. There was no time.

That was, until I had fallen asleep.

When I woke up again, I sat up. What time was it? What day was it? Damn, it still hurts. I got up, giving a gasp in pain, and got up, limping every time I walked. I sighed, making my way into my kitchen. I opened my refrigerator, to see what I can eat. I sighed. Left over pizza. I took it out and put it in the microwave.

I sat down, wincing. God, it hurt. I laid my face on the table. Maybe I should…go to the doctors.

_Several days later. _

Okay…I couldn't take it. I couldn't endure the pain any longer. I went to see my doctor today. I was hoping he wouldn't notice what had happen…and if he did, I would say I wouldn't remember, or that I was asleep, or I couldn't see the man's face…I didn't know what to say actually. On the way there, I decided to stop and get something to eat. I walked into the McDonald's and stood in line. I listed to the many language's floating around the small restaurant. French, Spanish, Italian, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, German.

" Gilbert, ya yehogy!" I heard someone say in Russian.

Gilbert? I can't be, Antonio's idiot friend? Why was a Russian speaking to him. I looked toward where I heard the voices. Sure enough, I saw a white haired German man, with piercing red eyes. Yep, that was Antonio's stupid friend. He was talking to another familiar face, a tall silver-haired man with violet eyes, and a seemingly innocent smile on his face. Russia.

"Warum? Wohin gehst du Arschloch?!" I snickered at that part.

Ivan glared at him, but continued to speak.

"I am going out, nothing you need to worry about. You may stay out until 1:00 tonight. But, if you do not come back, I will hunt you down, da?" This time he spoke in Russian.

"Good! I'm glad to be away from you, you damn asshole!"

"Do not talk back to me, Gilbert." he warned.

Then, Gilbert saw me. He was staring at me. I stared back. He blinked. Did he recognize me? I believe he did. He began to walk over to me, looking a bit puzzled.

"Hallo? Do I know from somewhere?" he asked me.

"Yeah, kind of, you know that stupid tomato head, Antonio…"

"Oh, how is he? "

"How the fuck should I know!" I was getting snappy again, how embarrassing.

Why am I blushing?

"Well, jeez, you don't have to be a dick!" he yelled back.

I pouted, still blushing.

"And you should remember who I am, asshole!" I hollered.

He blinked. Suddenly, some memories must have come back to him.

"Oh, Its you Lovino…I haven't seen you since…well…I don't even know. "

"Since I was ten years old, jackass."

"Oh yeah…"

What a dumbass.

"_Gilbert, This is Romano! Romano Gilbert!" _

_I glared up at him, pouting as always. He kneeled down next to me, and patted my head. I swatted his hand away. _

"_Stupid potato freak!" I shouted. _

_He only laughed at me. _

"_Don't be so rude, Romano!" Antonio told me. _

_But after talking to Gilbert, I found he was amusing and quite charming. I could have sworn that my cold, hard, heart turned warm and soft. My resolved cracked because I actually had someone to talk to about my problems. I almost told him about Antonio touching me… I almost told him about how he raped me. _

"_You know…" he began. _

"_You're very mature for your age, talking about political matters and how you should treat your people. "_

_I looked up at him, and smiled. God, it was getting late. _

"_Do you want to go inside?" He asked holding his hand out to me. _

_Why was he treating me so nicely? I've seen how he's treated everyone else, so rude and nasty, but, its seems he had a soft spot for me. I tried to ponder why, but my thoughts were interrupted by him picking me up. I squeaked. Fucking squeaked. He put me over his shoulder and chuckled. I felt the burning red heat go straight to my cheeks. He walked me into the house, would into my room and set me down on the bed. He laid down next to me, and smiled. _

"_You tired? " he asked me. _

_Normally I would have said: 'Of course not, asshole!" but, I could admit it to him. _

"_Yes. " my eyes did feel really heavy. _

_He leaned in, and kissed my forehead, smiling. He then wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him. I laid my head on his chest. His heart had a beautiful rhythm. He ran his fingers through my hair, and I clung to him. Not wanting to let go, not wanting to let __him__ go. I lead up, and kissed his chin, and he ran his hand down my back. _

"_Goodnight, Romano. " _

"_Goodnight, Gilbert. " _

" I didn't recognize you, because well, you've grown up…"

I stared at him. He looked so beat up, so defeated, so tired. He was still that fiery guy though, still the same Gilbert, I can tell it in his eyes. Those same gorgeous red eyes… He smiled.

"You're just all grown up now…"

"Yeah, I guess I am. "


	3. IMPORTANT: Author's Note

I have a special announcement: due to unusual circumstances…I'm writing a 3rd, yes 3rd story to go with these 2. This one is from Antonio's P.O.V. I thought it would be interesting, plus Insane!Antonio intrigues very much. Plus, he needs some love too~ . I wonder who will guess who he will be paired up with? You'll see.

~HallowShark1

P.S.- Please review me on what you think about me doing this. Thumbs up, Thumbs down, opinions? Thanks! Love ya!


	4. Awkward Pleasure

I looked at Gilbert, marveling at some bruises and cuts he had. Gilbert smiled weakly, his cheek bones where now very thin. What had happened to him? I was about to open my mouth to say something, but a hug caught me off guard.

"God Damn it, why'd you grow up! Making me feel old you bastard!"

"You're old as dirt!"

It was then I thought, shouldn't Gilbert be dead now? Prussia no longer existed, was I seeing things or something? Because, if I remembered, Poland got half of Prussia, and Russia got the other half. Then, why the hell was Gilbert still alive?

"Gilbert…you're supposed to be dead…"

He looked down a bit, as if remembering something sad. He cringed, but shook it off.

"West, um…He saved me…He's not Germany anymore… He's West Germany. I'm East Germany now…Not Prussia. " he said.

Although he tried to hide it…

I could still hear that bit of despair in his voice. This was a different Gilbert then the one I had met years ago. He was no longer confident, I can tell by that look in his eyes. He looked so broken and worn out, so tired and, had he lost weight? His cheek bones where thin, bruises lined his fair pale skin. Some of them where beginning to turn black. But, the thing that made me most afraid, was that, I can tell, he has struggled to get by day to day. Not just because of horrible treatment and abuse, but depression as well.

But I can tell, when I saw him, his eyes had that little spark to them again, that spark which has now manifested into hope confidence. It seems, along with me, his enthusiasm for life has returned. But, why? I can not save him from Ivan's wrath. I can not-scratch that, I can feel some of his pain, but all of it. I can not understand the wrenched things that are being done to him with the control of the Soviet Union, so why do I spark that glimmer of hope within him?

I wanted to find out.

"We're you headed after here? " he asked me.

'Oh...Shit." was the first thing that popped into my mind.

"Ahh…The doctors…"

"Hm…? Why, something wrong with you? "

I was hoping he _wouldn't_ ask.

I can't tell him. I don't want him to pity me, I don't want anyone's pity. Because, even if I did tell him I was raped, he would demand to know who, right? I couldn't do that to Antonio. I love Antonio, I really do, but, as a brother, and just that. I couldn't let anyone hurt Antonio, couldn't let anyone take away his freedom. I couldn't, and won't hurt my big brother that way, now matter how much he hurt me.

"Just a check up!" I said, trying my best to sound cheerful.

That wasn't like me. So he raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Oh…Alright. Hey do you think…maybe"…

_Crap. _

"I could go with you? "

How could I say no to such a beautiful and familiar face? This question isn't rhetorical by the way.

"Sure…I guess. "

"Okay, let's get something to eat and go then. "

"Mr. Vargas, the doctor will see you now. "

I flinched. Why was I here again? I got up, Gilbert getting up along with me. I gave him a glance, and I caught him glancing back at me. He smiled at me, I looked away from embarrassment, my face turning as red as a tomato.

"You seem nervous, something wrong?" he asked me.

I wish he would stop being so nosey.

"N-No. Bastard…"

He chuckled. Oh, that familiar chuckle that had made me grow so fond of him. Why was that chuckle so inviting and tantalizing to me? Ws I falling for this asshole? _Did_ I fall for him back then?

"Okay, Mr. Vargas, please take off your clothes, and put this on. " he gave me some sort of robe thing.

I look at Gilbert. He stared back at me, and smirked playful. I gave him a glare, and he rolled his eyes standing up.

"Fine, fine, no need to be so shy though. " He said walking out the door.

"Pervert…"

"Whatever!"

I walked behind the curtains so I could hide myself from the doctor. I let my jacket slide off my shoulders, and pulled my shirt over my head. I looked down at my chest and blushed. It was kind of cold in here. I let my hands slip down past my taut stomach, and undid my belt. I unzipped my pants to reveal my al black boxers. I slid my pants down, and pulled them off. I pulled my boxers down to my ankles and folded them with the rest of my clothes.

I looked down at my naked body and blushed. I opened the package the clothes where in, and pulled the robe on.

"Okay, Doc, you can come in!"

This examination was the most awkward things I had ever done. Every time the doctor's hand would go below my waist, I had to stop myself from trembling. I tried not to gasp, I tried not to cry and it took everything I had. Some of the fear let me breathless with a pain in my chest. He said that I would needed some sort of pain medication that he would prescribe. He then asked me what was Gilbert's name. I blinked.

"His name is Gilbert Beilschmidt " I told him.

"Well, may I please speak with him. I have some important things. "

By this time I and gotten dressed again, and walked outside to see Gilbert leaning on the wall next to the door. He smiled at me, the smile was oddly supportive smile. I sighed.

"No, the doctor wants to see you."

"Why the hell does he want to see me!" he shouted.

"I don't know! Stop your bitching and go!" I yelled back pouting.

He chuckled at me. _Again. _

"What you chuckling at!"

"Your pouting, it's adorable. " I blushed.

Is he flirting with me? I blushed, and walked back in to the room, Gilbert close on my heels. The doctor smiled a worried smile at Gilbert as he walked in. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak.

"Um.. Are you Mr. Vargas' partner?" he asked Gilbert.

I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. I swear I was on fire.

"What, I'm not following you…"

"Are you his lover?"

I can se Gilbert struggle not to burst out laughing. God, I needed to think of something to throw the doctor off, and quick.

"Y-Yes! He is!" I shouted out.

Gilbert gave me a look. A startled and horrified look. Then he quickly shook it off.

"Yeah, Yeah I am! " said Gilbert triumphantly.

_Dear God…_ I thought.

"Well sir um…You two need um…slow down with the love making, if you know what I mean…don't be so rough with Mr. Vargas, alright Mr. Beilschmidt? We don't want something bad to happen to him. "

"Yes sir!" said Gilbert, a bit to enthusiastic for my taste.

It was then that the doctor give us our permission to leave with my medication. We walked out of the office, by now it was about 2:00 in the afternoon.

"Sooo…" said Gilbert after a long silence.

"You gonna tell me why we lied to the doctor?"

"I can't…"

"Why not? "

"Because I don't have to if I don't want to damn it!" I snapped at him.

He glared at me, and grabbed my wrist pushing me against a nearby wall. He looked into my eyes, it burned, I feel his eyes burning my soul. His eyes said something to me, said something horrifying.

'Don't lie to me!' they said. His eyes scanned mine for the longest time. Its took so long, it felt like hours. No one spoke, no one move. Even our breathing was quite. It was then he leaned in next to my ear.

"Who hurt you? " he whispered.

My chest began to ache at that very moment. I couldn't tell him, just couldn't. But, at this point it didn't matter. I would get hurt either way. He pulled away from my ear. And continued to stare at me. There was again a long (and very awkward)silence. I squirmed a bit in his grip, but, it was so gentle, that I didn't dare brake free. I understood why, because that was my invitation to pull myself away when ever I wanted.

"Hey," he broke the silence.

"I wanna try something…" he muttered in a strangely hypnotic husky voice.

"What? " I grunted.

"I wanna kiss you…" he leaned in closer so our lips almost touched.

"W-What? " I stuttered.

"Yeah…I really wanna kiss you..Because, _mein Gott_ you look so beautiful." he whispered.

I felt the raging heat in my cheeks once again. I trembled, but not of fear, but embarrassment. I felt so nervous, I didn't feel scared, just _very_ embarrassed.

"G-Gilbert…" I whimpered.

He smiled when I said his name. Then he chuckled once again, which somehow made my cheeks turned even redder and hotter.

"Is that a yes? " he purred.

My eyes became half lidded as they scanned his.

"Yeah, I guess it is…"

My heart stopped. The sparks flew. Oh, the contact with his lips were beautiful. His lips touching my, _oh Dio _this felt perfect. This felt ten times better then even having sex with Antonio. It was so gentle, so loving, in yet, we devoured eat others. And _Dio_! He tasted wonderful! He tongue touched my lips, he gave a whimper when it did, letting my tongue meet his. Our tongues stroked each other, it was such a loving and wonderful embrace. It was over to soon, much too soon. But we were still connected, but only by a thin trail of silver saliva.

"_Mein Gott!"_ he panted.

"_Mi Dio!" _I said in response.

He laughed.

"Hey," he said again.

"What? " I said.

"Let's go out to eat somewhere. "

"That sounds great. "

_8:30pm. _

"How'd we get here? " I asked.

I was lying my head on his chest. We we're buried in huge mound of pillows. On my bed. He felt very warm. I nuzzled my cheek into that warmth, it felt so good.

"So, you gonna tell me what happened now?" he said.

I open one eye, then close it again giving a large sigh as a response. I wish something would happen to distract him even if its just for a sec-

_Ring ring ring…._

Did I ever tell Feliciano that I loved him , a lot? Well I probably shoulder.

"Ciao? " I say when I answer.

Gilbert gave me collarbone a lick, I gasp. He chuckles, whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

"Stop that!" I whispered.

"What did you say, Romano? "

"Nothing. "

"I-I have good news! Ve!" he chirped nervously.

"Yeah what?" Dear Lord, I have that feeling…

"I'm pregnant!" Holy hell.

Did my heart just stop? No, wait, its beating. But, ten times faster. The first thing I thought was: I'm going to fuck that potato bastard up. I gritted my teeth, and scream threats into the phone. God, how I wish I could really do all the things I said. Gilbert tried his best not to burst out laughing.

"Sei un bastardo! Bastardo cazzo! Lo ammazzo! Ho intenzione di uccidere cazzo di lui, e pisciare!"

What I said was: You Bastard! Fucking bastard! Kill him! I'm going to fucking kill him and piss on his grave! I really meant it to. That asshole was just using him, I know it! Feliciano knew this too, in yet, he still pleads for me not to say such things. I grunt, still feeling angry, but since he was about to cry, I just give in, and congratulated him. He told me goodnight, and that he loved me, I did the same and I hung up.

"Looks like we'll be uncles, huh? " said Gilbert teasingly.

"Yeah I guess so. " I said as he kissed me on that cheek.

"All the more reason to see you, though. " he purred.

I blushed.

"Shouldn't you be going home, before the Soviet hunts you down? "

"Yeah I guess you're right. " he said kissing my ear.

He got up, and pulled his jacket back on.

"Hey, what's your phone number, Lovino? " I blinked.

"Um…here…" I said writing down for him.

"I'll call you, kay? " He kisses my cheek again.

"Bye. " I say.

"Bye, Lovi!" he shouts out the door.

I close the door and I go to get undressed and get ready for bed.

"_Mmm! Oh Dio! Gilbert!" I moan. _

_He was holding the back of my knees, panting. His hips rocking, pushing himself in an out of me. He changed the position, sitting me in his lap. I wrap my arms around his strong neck, pulling myself almost off him, then sliding back down, moaning because the head of his dick hit my prostate. I throw my head back and beg. _

"_G-Gilbert! More! Oh Dio! More!" I groaned. _

_He keeps his hand on the back of one of my knees, lifting it up ever so slightly. I gasp when he continues his thrust. I gasped out with each one. God, it was so slow and gentle. His thrust where not thrust, but careful slips and slides. I looked him in the eye, pressing my forehead to his, drooling. He looked at me, and he couldn't help but smile at him. I smiled back. _

"_G-Gilbert! T-Ti amo! I love you!" I arch my back, coming all over his stomach. _

"_I love you, Lovino. I love you so much…" He said kissing me. _

_I felt him come inside me, I rode him even as he came. I through my head back once more scream once again: _

"GILBERT!"

Dear God, what was that! My eyes shoot open, and I sit up. My sheet are wet…Shit. But Dio, what a great dream. I blushed. I can't be in love can't I? I mean really… Plus, its with the potato bastard's _brother? No. But God, Gilbert made me feel so good, so happy. I couldn't just ignore him. _

I suddenly began to feel sick. Crap, maybe that restaurant wasn't so good. I stand up, so I could go to the bathroom. I walk in flicking on the light, and I decided I wanted to take a bath so I could wash myself off. I know its like, 3:00 in the morning, but, I really wanted to get clean. Plus, maybe that would help my stomach. I run the warm bath water, and go to grab a towel, despite my nausea getting worse. Suddenly, I had to make a run for the toilet, and I spill my dinner and everything else I had eaten yesterday. I gagged. I feel on the floor, curling up into a ball. Suddenly, I was in a lot of pain. I rocked back and forth, soon rocking myself to sleep.

* * *

_End of this chapter! Thanks for being patient! Love you guys, please don't forget to comment okay! Also , go to my profile and please vote for who Antonio will be paired up with. Your two choices are: Francis and Ivan. I know what you're thinking, where did Ivan come from? Well in actually, Hidekaz said that Antonio is two faced like Ivan. Also its just plain cute if you ask me, well enough of my rambling, hope you enjoyed this chapter!_

_By the way, Antonio's story will begin after I finish these to, but I thought it would be nice to start it. Okay, bye, I promise I will try to update more!_

_Oh yeah, this was seven pages on Microsoft Work Word Processor, the LONGEST thing I have ever written! By the way, I have somthing interesting planned: Felicianox The Vatician City (my OC) its for a friend. Its a one shot though, so feel free to read when I'm done!_


	5. Infliction

I woke up the next morning really dazed. I still felt sick. It hurt a lot. I had things to do though. I had a meeting with America, which I was not looking forward to much. I whined as I looked in the mirror. I touched my chin, feeling some stubble that was beginning to come up. I muttered something about shaving tomorrow, and went back into my room to get dressed. I felt really disoriented right now. Despite this, I managed to stumbled into my clothes and out the door.

I sighed a bit. I kind of felt real lonely. I have for many years actually. I've been lonely and scared. I guess that was one of the reasons why I let Antonio into the house. I just didn't want to be alone. Ever since Feliciano fucking abandoned me for the German, I've been jumpy, uneasy, depressed. Its really hard for me, but no one seems to understand this fact. Like anyone _but _Antonio gives a shit. I stare down at my dash bar, past my radio, eying my cigarette lighter. I picked it up, my hand trembling a bit, and I close my eyes.

I've thought about self inflicted pain for a while. I can't take being cut, but I can handle being burnt. I always had a higher tolerance for physical (well, actually, emotional, too) pain than anyone in my family. I suppose I got it from Grandpa Rome. A ping of irritation and sadness went through me as I remembered Grandpa. Always choosing Feliciano before me, the burning hatred that I felt (that overall I didn't want to feel for someone I actually loved so much) for poor Feliciano.

Then, I remember how angry I was at Roderick suddenly. For leaving me with Antonio. For not listening to me when I actually told him. How much I just…

"_Hey you asshole-" _

"_Please do not address me in that matter, you incompetent brat. " he said as he calm sipped his tea. _

_I grunted angrily in response. We were sitting in his living room. Marble floors and walls seem to glow quite angelically. The air itself seemed to be a blinding white. It was calm and quiet in the room, Antonio had went to go use the bathroom, Feliciano was with Ms. Hungry. Me and Antonio were going to spend the night there, so me and Feliciano could have, "bonding time". _

"_Listen I have something to tell you, about Spain. " I continued. _

_I rolled his eyes. Laying the paper he was reading down to look at me. _

"_If this is about him being 'a stupid tomato eating bastard' then I don't want to- "_

"_He raped me. " I said abruptly, kind of to fast. _

_I just wanted to get it out. But, afterward, my heart sank for some odd reason. I rubbed my shoulder, looking down, as if I was hurt. I could feel those violet eyes boring into me. I was waiting. For any kind of reaction. I know he would help me right? He had to believe me, he was smart. He knew when I was lying, didn't he? Suddenly, I was struck to the cheek , the blow leaving it red and swollen. I yelped in surprise, laying my hand over it, tears beginning to well up in my eyes as I looked up at him. _

"_Stop lying! How disrespectful! " He bellowed at me. _

_I looked away, gritting my teethe together to keep from sobbing. _

"_I know you act like you do not like Mr. Spain, but don't say such lies about him! This is low even for you!" _

_Tears streamed down my face as I decided just to let everything out. I began to sob violently, hopelessly. If Feliciano would have told him this, he probably would have believe him. Everyone would be fawning over him, desperately asking him if he's okay. Antonio would be getting the shit beat out of him, the end. But with me, I'm a little lying bastard whose evil and conniving with behavior issues._

"_Get out of my sight! You are sickening me at the moment. " he commanded. _

_I gave another sob, and stood to my feet. I didn't say anything, I just sobbed like the hopeless child I was. I wiped my eyes, clutched my shirt, and turned around. I ran out the door as if running for my life. I lets out a scream of frustration as I ran into a lone room, not caring whose room it was. I jumped onto the bed, madly sobbing and screaming. Words I don't remember, that I don't even understand through my rugged voice._

_I spent the whole night there, alone. Hugging my knees. At one point, Austria came and locked the door I believe. Someone came and left me dinner. Feliciano knocked on the door, asking about me, how I am, if I'm alright. I didn't answer to anyone. I wanted to be alone now. I just wanted…to…I was staring off into space again. Spaced out. I feel asleep, and had many nightmares. _

That tore it with me. I had to take my anger out on something. Anything. I thought of reasons why I should do this. My body is the reason this all happened to me. It's tainted and dirty. Filled with Antonio. I was his, for the rest of my life. I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed the hot iron of the lighter into my arm. I bit my lip, so hard it began to bleed.

"C-Chigi…" I sobbed.

God, it hurt. _**oh fucking Dio!**_ The pain. I didn't even care though. It was only a bit of pain compared to what I have been through. Not even one of the top 3 worst this that has ever happened to me. I pulled my sleeve down over my burn, which was now turning yellow, red, and dark blue.

I took a deep, shaky breathe, and pulled out of my driveway.

* * *

I walked into the meeting room, straightening my tie. I cleared my throat and made my face stern and depressing. I waited, staring at the clock. He was always late. Very selfish and conceded. He got one my nerves, but my boss told me we were setting up something for trade. It seemed very eerie in the dim meeting room though. It made me very unsettled. It was then , I heard the click of the door knob. I looked up, seeing blonde hair, with blue eyes hidden behind glass.

"Hey Romano!" he shouted.

He was loud. To loud. He sat down in front of me, smiling his smug smile. He had papers in his hand, and he was staring at me in a way that made me very jumpy.

"So, about the trade I think-"

He cut me off with a chuckle.

"You really think that's what I'm here for! " he stood up abruptly.

I felt my muscles tense. He walked behind me, eyeing me like a predator stalking its pray. He put his hands on y shoulder, and I shook.

"Listen…" he murmured in my ear.

"I'll take care if you…your people, for a small fee of course…" his hands went over my chest, I shuddered.

"F-Fuck off…" I stuttered.

"…C'mon Lovino… "

"Don't call me that, _Mr. America _" I hissed.

I stood up, but he pushed me violently up against the tabled. I gasp in pain, groan at bit as he began to run his fingers over my chest. He began to unbutton my shirt, and pushing my shirt off.

"S-Stop…" I whimpered.

He licked his lips hungrily, and groaned and arched my back at some bad memories. I suddenly felt sick again, which caused my to release another pained groan.

"A-America…I'm feeling kind of si-"

"Hey, stop calling me America, call me Alfred, please. "

"Listen, I feel really sick, please let me back up!"

"Hm…? You can ignore it. "

"No, I'm going to throw up! Stop!"

His eyes widen, and he gets off of me, as I stand up and run out of the room. I ran into the bathroom, and vomited into the toilet. I gagged and hacked, bits and pieces of my breakfast spilling out. I continued to do this for a few minutes as he watched me from the door. He looked very smudged and triumphant. I looked up at him, my shirt sliding down my shoulders, bunching down my elbows. He smirked, and walked over to me, grabbing my shoulders, and pulling me up to my feet.

He positioned me in front of the mirror.

"Look at you…" he muttered in my ears, massaging my shoulders. "You're so beautiful…But so weak…"

I looked away from my body, keeping my eyes closed. He pulled my shirt off all the way, eyeing to burn on my arm.

"You don't have the strength to take care of yourself…" his words had sadism in them.

They were insincere, venomous. He was lying. He just wanted someone to fuck. That usual American attitude.

"So…Let me take care of you…" he purred in my ears.

His hands stroked my hips, and I closed my eyes.

"…Fuck you."

"Gladly…"

* * *

Lol, where the fuck did this come from? By the way, again, sorry for not updating in a while. This is the spawn of my watching to many Seth Rogen movies…in some way…I just don't know how. Just don't ask… I just had an...idea boom. Anyway, as always, please review. It makes me happy. Please. I will love you. And give you a cookie. By the way, "Chigi" is a verbal tick Romano has.


	6. Misfortune

"Lovino…Admit it…" He murmured.

"Admit what, you asshole? "

America licked my shoulder, I shuddered.

"Admit that you're weak Lovino. That you need someone to protect you. That you need _me _to protect you."

"I-I don't need any-"

"Anyone? " He finished my sentence.

He then reached down, grabbing my wrist. He lifted it up, along with me arm. He then touched the burn that was on my arm with his other hand, and I hissed in pain.

"Look at what you did to yourself, you need to be watched. You need someone to make you happy…" as he said this, his hand slowly ran down my arm, to my shoulder, then my chest, across my stomach, down my crotch (giving it a light stroke as he did.) , then roughly grabbed my ass. I gasped loudly.

"Just let us be together, and I'll make you happy, I'll protect you, just let me-"

"Fuck me? Use me as a fucking sex toy? I don't think so! I'm not fucking we-" he cut me off by throwing me onto the bathroom floor.

I gasp out in pain as he ripped my clothes from my body, and smirked. Thinking quickly, I punched his stomach, crawling to the bathroom door. I stumbled up, running out of the small meeting room, down the hall. I screamed for help, wrapping my arms around myself as I heard the sound of his boots behind me. I tried to run faster, but he easily caught up with me. He tackled me to the ground and pinned me down very easily.

"I warned you didn't I? I told you, you're weak. But ya'know…" He leaned in closer to my ears.

My breathe became more heavy and ragged. I was shaking very badly.

"If you were mine, you would be strong…" I heard a zip after that.

I panic, thrashing and flailing. _**No, no, no! **_This couldn't happen to me again! I couldn't take it anymore! Someone needed to help me! I can't breathe, oh God. I fight and fight, but he easily ignores my blows and spreads my legs apart. I whimper very loud before screaming for help again.

"Gilbert!" I heard a deep voice with a thick accent yell.

Then, Alfred was forced into the wall next to me. A man with white hair and pale skin pinning him and giving sever blows to his face and chest. I heard loud screams in German, some bellowing n Russian also. A boot stepped in front of me, I looked up at Russia, who was screaming at Gilbert and Alfred. I crawled out the way, making my way to a wall of the hallway. I curled up there, closing my eyes.

"Gilbert! This is none of your business! Come here now! " Ivan.

"The hell it is! " Gilbert.

"You damn Nazi! Get off of me!" Alfred.

"Not 'till I'm finished beating the shit out of you!" Gilbert.

"What? You're mad because he wants to fuck me! " Alfred.

I cringed at what Alfred said. I'm not some slut, some tool for him to use. I'm not-

"Lovino…" I heard a raspy voice say.

I cracked my eyes open, gazing into stunning red. Some would say, that they were scary. That those eyes are freakish, chilling. I see them as stunning beautiful pools of red.

"H-Hey…Dumb potato bastard. "

He chuckled at me, before his shoulder was grabbed by Ivan. I smiled at him, despite the fact that he was being drugged away from me.

"Let me know if that asshole touches you again, I'll beat the shit outta him for ya Lovi!" he yelled to me.

I stood up, noticing a jacket around me. It smelled like Gilbert. I wrapped the jacket closer and closer around myself. I stared at America, who was recuperating on the floor. Wiping blood from his mouth he began to stand up, at that point, I decided to run. I ran out the front door, holding the jacket over my naked frame. I ran towards my car, opening the door as quickly as I could. I climbed in, starting the car.

I sat in my car, thinking for a few minutes. Alfred was right. I am weak. I do need someone to protect me. I can't handle being alone I can't-

The window was tapped. I looked up to see Alfred, smugly smirking at me again. I gasped, trying to put the car into drive. But, he used his immense strength to break the lock on my door and pull it down. He grabbed me, pinning me so that my chest was against the passenger seat, my ass in the air. I shook heavily, hearing that dreaded zip again.

"Didn't I tell you? You're weak. But don't worry, I'll make you strong. "

I felt his dick rub against my hole. I shook so hard. He grabbed my hips roughly, pushing the head into me slowly. I gasp.

"A-Alfred D-Don't- A-Ahhhhh!" I groan out as he slowly pushes into me to the base.

He was more gentle than Antonio, as if I actually loved him. He formed a smooth rymth as he violated me, grunting and panting above me. I felt him begin to thrust more randomly and rapidly. His grip on hips tightened to a point where it was a force enough to bruise them. He suddenly gave my ass a smack, and I gasped.

"Lovino, you're so tight. Like a virgin. But I could tell you're not judging by the fact you aren't screaming your head off right now…" he remarked.

He shifted so he was sitting in the passenger seat, setting me in his lap. I felt him push even deeper, hitting my prostate. I gasped out, arching my back against his chest. I moaned out loud, against my will. He began to stroke my cock roughly, and in rhythm with his thrust.

"Oh Lovino, look you do love me. Don't I make you feel good? "

"N-No! I-I Ahhh! Just can't f-fight a-anymooore! " I said between groans.

"Oh, so you let people do this to you? Like a slut? Is that what you are Lovino? A fucking Slut? "

"N-No it's just I-Gaaaaahhhhh!" I felt him suddenly get rougher.

"If you want to be a slut, I'll fuck you like one then!"

"N-Noooo…" I groaned in pain.

He stroked me even harder, tugging on my length until it ached. His hips driving into me was making me sick to my stomach. My body was already tainted. How could this get any worse? Why did this have to happen to me? Him, Antonio, fucking people I don't even know, inside me. I wish I could just end it all. But right now, I couldn't really do anything. I was to busy being raped, now wasn't I?

He hit my prostate again and again, making my cry out in each time. There was no point in screaming for help, of for him to stop. I just gave up. I had to give up. There was no other choice for me. I was _his._ I was _Antonio's. _I could never be myself, ever, because of what they did to me.

I gave another loud groan, louder than the others. He came inside me, yelling some dirty words of some kind. I came as well, so deep in my thoughts I didn't even notice. I licked off some drool that was on my chin as he bit my shoulder, only enough to leave a mark.

"Maybe you should show that to Prussia when he fucks you tonight. "

"G-Get the f-fuck out of my car!" I screamed.

He scoffed at me, before pulling out, setting me back down in the passenger seat. The seat was covered in come, as was my inner thigh. Come dripped out of me, and down my leg. I moved into the driver's seat, closing my broken door, and holding it shut. Driving off as fast as I could. I made my way to the high way, surrounded by tree and woods. I turned my car sharply, and crashed into a tree. Something hit my head.

I felt blood begin to drip down my head, I whimpered. I started to cry, my head hurt, my arms and legs ached. But I was blacking out, so, I knew it had to be over soon. I had to be.

I slipped away, hearing sirens as I blacked out.

Throughout my sleep I heard voices. So many voices. Someone say something about 'Is the baby okay?', 'Will he ever wake up? ', 'We don't know.'. I heard all those more than once. Damn. It didn't work, I was still here. I finally gained consensus, cracking my eyes open to a blinding light.

"L-Ludwig he's awake!"

I heard a grunt.

"Thank God. "

"Wha…" I groaned.

"Fratello!" Someone grabbed my hand, giving a light squeeze.

"Fratello! You and the bambino are okay! "

Was that Feliciano? My vision cleared. Yes it was.

"The…what! "

* * *

Oh Another chapter! Please review~


	7. Author's Note Again!

Right, so I have an essay due next week. Great right? Anyway, so now I will have even less time. And to be honest, at the moment, I lack the motivation to write. I need to get back into the spring of this. So, I decided to start doing the Hetalia Kink Meme on Livejournal. So, if anyone wants me to fill in a request, please message me on FanFiction. By the way, I will probably ask for a fill in return, as soon as they make the next section on the kink meme. So, everyone be patient , I'm working on the next chapters as much as I can.

Love you all. Thank you for reading!

With Love,

HallowShark1


	8. Let Me In

So many emotions were flooding through me right now. Sorrow and grief, I wonder what I lost? Anger and rage, why was I so angry? I wish I would have died to put my mind at peace, but that would be a selfish wish. There's another life inside me, relying on me. Why me? I'm not ready for this, I never have been. I'm to angry and bitter to care for anyone. Right? I look around the ever plain white and blue room, the whole space glowing dimly. Feliciano still held onto my hand, even though now he was fast asleep in his chair.

Ludwig sat next to him, also snoozing, and I sat awake, mostly lost in thought. I suddenly wanted to tall to someone. Anyone. I wanted someone to talk to. I was lonely all of a sudden. _No I've been alone for years._

I felt my whole body ease.

"Was I tense this whole time? " I ask myself.

My lips barely move as I talk. I looked out the window. The sun was not out yet, but the potato bastard should be awake soon. I looked up at the ceiling, then back down at my stomach.

"C-Ciao, bambino. " I stuttered, as if someone was really there.

"I am your mother…Ugh, this doesn't sound right!"

The clock ticks again. What am I doing? Am I really that alone? The clock ticks again, and again. I was starting to annoy me a lot. Then all of a sudden I heard a strong yawn that scared the hell out of me.

"Guten Morgan Romano. " I heard a deep, husky voice say to me.

"Good my ass. " I mutter.

He sighed. Soon after he started to stretch. I felt Feliciano grip my hand tighter for some reason. I hear him mumble my name in his sleep. He was worried about me, I could tell because his expression was sudden;y pained. Ludwig reached out and touched his cheek, I scoff.

"He won't be awake until at least after 12:00. "

"Yeah, so." I reply.

"Just wanted to make small talk…"

"Listen you stupid bastard, I don't lik- No, I fucking hate you. So, stay the fuck away from me and my brother!" Why didn't I trust him?

"…You know, I really do care about Feliciano a lot, even if you don't like me. I will never leave him, I couldn't. I need him. I would never use him, because I love him. I will never hurt him, because he is my everything. " I'm suddenly quiet.

"If anything ever happened to him," he continued, "I don't have any idea what I would do. I care about him. And I care about you too, because, you're his brother. And he love you. Anyone he loves, his family, they are my family. So why do you constantly believe I'm using him? "

I don't respond. My eyes shift around the room, trying to contemplate an answer. I just didn't trust him, I didn't trust anyone anymore. I'm confused, I'm sad, I'm angry, irritable even. I stayed quiet for the longest time, but couldn't come up with an answer to Ludwig's problem. No, I couldn't come up with an answer to mine. After what seem like minutes (which were actually hours) pasted by, he stood.

"I'll be back soon, tell Feliciano I went to go to the bookstore across the street." he sounded defeated as he talked to me.

Like he had fail to solve a puzzle. To figure out a riddle. To give up on a hydra. To leave a enigma unsolved. I watched him walk out the door, and figured he would be gone for an hour or to, before staring back at the wall. The spot seems to move, colors and lights begin to appear on top of it. My mind was modeling it into something. Who knows what it was. I say there, for a long time. For how long, I didn't know. Nothing happened aside from breathing and the flow of time. Feliciano shifted in his sleep. I held my breathe.

"Fratello…" I heard.

"Si?"

"Ti amo. " he yawned.

I sighed. He hugged my arm, laying his hand on my shoulder. His tired eyes half lidded with exhaustion. He reached his hand up, and brushed some hair out of my face. He smiled at me with now wide golden eyes, my expression was it's usual dull.

"Fratello. Are you in pain. " a ping of agony went through my chest.

"Hell yeah, I'm in fucking pain! " he winced back a bit.

"Ve, Lovino I'm sorry but you-"

"You could have fucking been there! You could have helped me! But it's expected of the spoiled one to not care at all, isn't it! "

"But, Lovino if I were there I-"

"Would have ran away like a fucking coward! God damn it Feliciano you never cared! Ever! You've always been spoiled and selfish! Why doesn't any of this shit ever happen to you! " Why was I snapping at him?

What did he do wrong?

"You never came and saw me once when I was with Antonio! You just thought everything was okay! That nothing was wrong! You don't understand any of the pain I've been thought! How jealous I am of you…How jealous I am that Grandpa pick you over me!" Was I turning red?

"How lonely I've always been! It's always been just me! Just me…"

"Wha-What about Antonio? "

" I FUCKING HATE ANTONIO!"

He gave a sudden gasp at my outburst.

"AND I FUCKING HATE YOU TOO!"

Oh God. I didn't just say that. Please tell me I didn't tell my brother that. My sweet little brother who has always just wanted to be there for me, who has only wanted to love me. He cover my mouth and look away from him. I hear him sob. Tears roll down my cheek. Oh God, the tears.

My back begins to move as I sob, he hugs me again to my surprise. I press my face into his shoulder, wailing in sadness and regret. I cried and scream into his shoulder. He just sobbed and sobbed, running his fingers into my hair.

"O-Oh God Lovino, I'm sorry!" Why was he sorry?

I screamed louder, I don't know why I just had to. I had to scream, had to cry. I felt to horrible, so bitter. I had to scream those feelings away, let them escape in agony. I cried and screamed, for the longest time. Until long after Feliciano had stopped. He kept on holding onto me as I did, as me emotions flooded from me. I suddenly felt a lot better after I had stopped.

"Lovino…I'm sorry, I didn't realize how much you needed me. " I sob once more.

"You're my brother, and I love you. I understand why you are angry. Why you feel so alone. And I'm sorry. I promise I'll be there for you more. " He looks at me, and smiles.

My face twisted again, tears flowing down them. This time, they were from happiness.

"O-Oh, Feli, I'm sorry!" I hugged him close. "I'm sorry ! I'm sorry! "

"Ve, Lovino? "

"Y-Yes? " I say between sniffles and hiccups.

"What are going the name the baby? "

I blinked. I didn't really know. I didn't expect such a random question out of the blue. Especially right now. It was so odd. I sat back against my pillow and thought for a moment. And thought, and thought.

"Alexandro if it's a boy. " The name is Spanish, meaning 'defending man'.

"Alexandra if it's a girl, it's the feminine for of the name." I told him.

He blinked.

"Ve…Damn… That didn't give my any ideas. "

I chuckle a bit. Same old Feliciano. Always struggling with something. So we continue to talk, and talk. For the longest time. I discover me and my brother had more in common than have ever known. I also noticed he is kind and caring. I feel happy now, for the first time in while. I smile for the first time in days. It was then I decided that, I love my little brother.

* * *

W00t! This chapter! Anyways, this was inspired by the American version of the Swedish film "Let The Right One In" entitled "Let Me In." That's were the title of the chapter comes from. Somehow. How random. Anyways, watch them both! Great movies! And Berwald actually has something to do with me stories! XD Anyways, Please review so I can keep going.


	9. Confessing

My eyes lightly flutter open, shimmers of light burning them. I grunted lightly, then stretched inside my hospital bed. I'm supposed to be released today. I feel anxious. I sit there, staring at an empty chair were Feliciano sat yesterday. I closed my eyes, and tilted my head back to calm myself. I laid there for a while before somebody walked into my room. I pretended to be asleep.

"Lovi? " the voice was soft yet it made me cringe.

I crack my eyes open, my gold meeting with a emerald green. Antonio stood there, nervously biting his lip. He looked like he hadn't sleep in days. He also looked like he'd been crying for that long too. He gazed at me, finally letting go of his lip. He cleared his throat, and turned his head away from me.

Then, I cleared _my _throat.

"Well? What are you dong here? " I asked.

No answer. He looks down at his feet.

"Antonio answer-"

"O-Oh God. T-This is all my fault isn't it?" he said, trying not to sob.

"Y-You tried to do this to yourself b-because of me?" he finally sobbed out.

I looked away from him. He was trying to make me feel guilty. I wasn't going to fall for it this time around. I wouldn't let him, because he's hurt me to much.

"Antoni-"

"L-Lovino…Y-You love me, don't y-you?" he asked between sobs.

I stared at him. He has truly insane wasn't he? He really thinks he could just come out and say that to me. I resist my urge to scoff. I came to a brief decision.

"Antonio, you're my brother. And I love you like a brother." I pause after he buried his face into hands, then continued.

"Nothing more than that. " I said.

I looked away from him as he revealed his face, which was now twisted into an express drenched in agony. He lets out a scream with a few skips in it, and his face goes into his arm. He bites down on his sleeve. I hear a rip, then blood drips onto the floor where he is. I wince.

"A-Antonio. Stop it. "

"Y-you h-hate me d-don't you Lovino? "

I stared. We looked into each other's eyes. We each kept the others gaze, and examined it. I noticed all the pain and agony in his eyes. He notice's all the frustration and loneliness in mine. His eyes shift down to the floor quickly, and he give a large sob.

"I-I heard y-you were p-pregnant."

"…Yeah."

"Am I-I the father? " I look further away from him.

"…Yes Antonio. " I say.

He bites his lip. I see blood trickle down his chin. He rubbed his own arm for a second, then looked back up at me.

"L-Lovino. I-I'm sorry. God this is all my fault! I-I just…I…I-" he runs out the room.

I listen to his footsteps until they disappear. I stare at the wall for a second, and look back at the door. That made me very curious. It was all such a sudden occurrence. How did he even know I was here? How did he hear I was pregnant? I shook a bit, because I sudden realized something.

I didn't want Antonio anywhere near my child.

I laid my hands upon my stomach, and rub it gently. I can imagine it now, me with my belly swollen, complaining about how fat I'm getting. Oh my God. I'm going to be fat! Fuck! I don't want to be fat! I shake my head away from the thought. Then though of Feliciano's kid and mine playing together. My kid would be annoyed by his, and they'd be just like siblings.

I guess it would all of us closer together. And maybe, just maybe, me and Ludwig could get along. For the children's sake. And Antonio would just stay out of the picture and away from my baby. And Gilbert could be there for him instead. Maybe me and Gilbert can have a few child of our own, and we could be a big happy- did I just turn into a teenage girl dreaming about having a family with her crush?

God, I need to stop doing that, because that's embarrassing. I look up as Feliciano walks in, Ludwig behind him. I hear another set of footsteps, but I ignore them for now.

"West~ ! Thank you! " I hear a voice chirp.

I look up at the door, and there's Gilbert. My face lights up brighter then the sun, then promptly turns red when I noticed Feliciano and Ludwig saw my expression.

"How ya' doin' Lovi~! " he sung to me.

He took my hand, and gave the back of it a kiss before sitting down. Not letting go. My face grew redder. If Antonio suddenly walked back in here, he would say I was just as red as a tomato. Feliciano giggled at us, while Ludwig cleared his throat and gave Gilbert this look. Gilbert gave him a look back and nuzzled my hand. The little bird on his head flew onto my shoulder. I smile and pat the to of his head with my other hand.

"Cute bird. " I say.

"Yeah, I'm a chick magnet!" he said laughing. I laugh too.

"That was corny! "

He smiled at me, then suddenly his expression turned more serious.

"I have some things I need to ask you. " he looks at Ludwig and Feliciano.

"Alone. " he added.

Ludwig nodded, and sweep Feliciano (whom squealed upon this happening) off his feet. Gilbert waited for their footsteps to fade, then looked at me. He gently rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Lovino, who…Whose the father? " the question sounded a bit hurt.

I give him a sad look. I was so scared to tell him. But now I felt I had to. Because this might destroy any shot of having a relationship with him. I clear my throat as I felt some tears gather in my eyes.

"T-The baby…I-It wasn't consensual Gilbert." I stutter out.

He frowned.

"Who hurt you Lovino? "

"I-I It was-"

"Alfred? " he said.

"N-No! This happened before Alfred! I just…I-I…" I realized something.

Him and Antonio have been best friends for the longest time. This would disappoint him so much. He couldn't hear something about his best friend. I would ruin their friendship and I would feel so ho-

"Lovino, please. You can tell me anything. I won't tell anyone if you want me to. " he said, his eyes getting softer.

"I just want to protect you Lovino. " he said, leaning up and kissing away one of my tears.

I gave a hard sob. So hard I gripped Gilbert's hand for dear life.

"A-Antonio's the father! It's him! " I sob out loud.

He stared at me in disbelief. He's going to hit my Roderick did. I know it. He's angry with me, he thinks I'm a liar. A fucking dirty liar. Suddenly, I was pulled in an awkwardly angled hug. He began to cry with me. I could tell because of how he was breathing.

"It's okay Lovino. I'll be here for you okay? "

I smile a bit in disbelief. He believe me. He actually believed me.

"O-Okay. G-Giilbert? "

"Yes Lovi? " he said. He didn't stutter through his words like I did.

"I-I love you. "

"I love you too, Lovino."

* * *

Chapter um…some number! :D I like this one, it was cute. Inspired by the song "The Scientist" by Coldplay. Always inspired by something I know! Please review! Thanks!


	10. Author's Note Yet Again!

Right, so I have an essay due next week. Great right? Anyway, so now I will have even less time. And to be honest, at the moment, I lack the motivation to write. I need to get back into the spring of this. So, I decided to start doing think Hetalia Kink Meme on Livejournal. So, if anyone wants me to fill in a request, please message me on FanFiction. By the way, I will probably ask for a fill in return, as soon as they make the next section on the kink meme. So, everyone be patient , I'm working on the next chapters as much as I can.

Love you all. Thank you for reading!

With Love,

HallowShark1


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